Ricky Ponting preaches spirit of the game…hic

I finally bought my Television. Not a fun process, but it is there all the same, hanging on the wall, staring back at me. Like a confused dog, I stare back, hoping for it to show me some cricket, the main purpose for which I needed it. It does not. I do not have satellite TV yet.

Fortunately, I was not at home over the weekend. So, I managed to catch the cricket, which was not too much given that only Australia played the Kiwis in the second game. The Mitchell Johnson story – his four wickets – was the highlight of the game I think. The Aussie tries to knock an opponent down after all the coaching he has had from his girl-friend, but karate never taught you to charge at an opponent helmetless, who has his helmet on. Basic logic did. And with Johnson having already proved that he lacks it, one would have thought that he may have donned a helmet himself – while bowling – and repeated some verbal jousts with Scotty Styris. Think, Haddin would have prevented from doing so.

Instead, the duo seemed to have hatched a far greater conspiracy. To get the Kiwis out instead, by bowling the right channels and lengths and lines. And to keep the on-field Sidhuisms to themselves. How the plot worked I tell you. A wicket up early, a wicket at the end of the first spell, another in the middle and the last one to round it off for the Aussies and make it 1-1. Haddin played his part as well, pouching two that came his way.

Funnily, only a day before, Daniel Vettori and Shane Watson had faced the media and accepted that they needed to reign themselves in a little. Without losing that aggression. Whatever.

Watson was, actually, the funnier. He said, “Ricky sat down with us after the game and had a chat to us about it.” Polite smiles. Controlled laughter. Much like the controlled aggression. “It’s an important part because we want to make sure we are competitive but we don’t step over the line”. The press conference room was in guffaws. “We can’t afford for anyone to get suspended or get fined because that’s not in the spirit of the game.” The room explodes. Watson could have almost won the Australian version of America’s Got Talent for keeping a straight face there.

Wonder how would that conversation have gone.

Ricky Ponting: Guys, before we discuss strategy, I need to have a serious chat about something more important.

Watson: (jumping up and down, groans and continues jumping): Gee, if it is another of those sermons about whether or not to go to India for the IPL, stop. We are all going. I mean all of us here, in this room. Even Mitch, Clarkey and Haddin. Mitch needs the money to pay his karate-tutor. Clarkey to shut a Brendan Fevola up and Haddin to pay his fines. They have applied for the role of a commentator since Modi fails to respond to their SMSes, calls or even tweets and the last date for applying to play for a team is long past. The Royals would have obviously wanted Clarkey to replace Jadeja but Modi won’t allow. So, commentary it is, though all were offered roles in the Indian version of Fear Factor…

RP: Will you shut up Watto, and stop acting like you have just been hit by Gayle to another part of the planet. I wanted to speak about the way we play cricket, this may not hold much ground in the future. We need to keep our emotions in check, not swear at opponents and most of all, try not converting the sport into Australian Rules Football. We have a legacy to fulfil. We also need to think about what Neil (Harvey) may think about us. And that Roebuck chap…

Watson (still jumping): But, what about Gambhir and his elbow. My abdomen still hurts from it…

RP: That is from the way you keep jumping like a kid whose candy has just been fed to the sharks. Anyway, so, we need to fulfil the MCC’s Spirit of Cricket legacy that will ensure my entry into the pantheon of all-time great captains.

Watson: Oh, then why did you opt out of the IPL? Even they have adopted the MCC’s Spirit of Cricket, you would have been their perfect ambassador and probably even taught Ganguly something. The way he would keep making us wait all the time. Warne kept gesticulating at the toss at every passing minute like he had been smashed by Cullinan for sixes…

RP: Watto, quiet kid! Another word from you about IPL and you will be out of here. We need to think of ways to control it, practice some yoga in much the same manner as Haydos did before the game on the pitch. Come on guys, a matter of only an year or so before I retire. Please, for my sake.

The rest of them start to mumble something incoherent and it soon turns into a noisy din. End of lecture.

And of course, the Aussies were much better behaved in the second game. And the third one as well. Ponting may last as the captain till the next Ashes in England for all practical purposes.

by Suneer Chowdhary

(The writer is a cricket rambler and can be contacted at suneerchowdhary@gmail.com. He will continue doing so for us whenever he gets that 25th hour of the day.)

Related posts:

1. Vettori, Watson agree to not cross the aggression line
2. Of TV-less times, Johnson’s head-butts and under-statements
3. Australia pile on 273 against New Zealand at Auckland

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Posted by Sam on Mar 10 2010. Filed under Columns. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry