Of TV-less times, Johnson’s head-butts and under-statements
I do not have much to say except that it has been two days since I watched cricket. 48 hours. That is because the idiot box looks as conspicuous by its absence in this house as international cricket in Pakistan at this current moment. Or that grey matter in Mitchell Johnson. Or a double century in the first 2961 ODIs played since 1971.
And, the unfortunate bit is that there isn’t much I can do about it. The guy who was supposed to deliver the TV home called up to say that Samsung stopped producing those models that I have already paid for. Or something on those lines.
Did I just say ‘stop producing’? Sorry, my mind keeps wandering away to that YouTube video that I keep watching to keep myself from pinching me red, but I cannot believe that Johnson actually tried to head-butt a batsman who had his helmet grill on (overuse of the word ‘keep’ in the first part of the sentence). Glad, the other blonde of the side, and his partner-in-crime in that infamous Benn-butt, Brad Haddin, arrived well on scene and did his best to douse the fire. Else, Styris could very well have gone the Benn way – banned out of the team by referees whose monthly allowance seems to be on a commission-basis, based on the number of Aussie-opponents shown the red card – but unlike the Perth incident, Johnson’s countenance would have resembled Jessica Bratich’s opponent’s nose in a fight-to-finish karate encounter. Surely.
(On another, irrelevant note, noticed how that Benn-Johnson fight makes a sound, so similar to another controversial 100m sprinter?)
So, I was with my TV. Or rather without it. But, they say it should be on its way in the next couple of days. Probably, just in time to watch another skirmish on-field. Baz seems to think so anyway. Punter, on the other hand, had the wittiest line to make; “There was obviously something that happened.” Did he originally think that they were whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears. Heard of understatements?
It gets better after this. “I rushed in as quickly as I could and separated them as quick as I could and we just tried to finish off the game well from there.”
Two parts to the sentence. The ‘Rushed in quickly and separated’ jazz…. Without Lee, Siddle, Hilfenhaus already, a gashed nose or a broken few teeth for your most experienced bowler would not have helped matters for you either. Good thing for your bowler you did that. And two, ‘we just tried to finish off the game well from there’. What were you doing till then; talking Watson and Hussey into not participating in the IPL?
No really, I did not have much to say. Just that I miss the sadistic pleasures of inflicting my eyes with the appalling beating the more appalling in a gully cricket veiled as an international cricket match. In the West Indies.
by Suneer Chowdhary
(The writer is a cricket rambler and can be contacted at suneerchowdhary@gmail.com. He will continue doing so for us whenever he gets that 25th hour of the day.)
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